On Taking Charge

It was a one summer day in 1990 and I was taking driving lesson to take a test for driving in town. The Learner VW has two breaks, one on the driver side and the other on the passenger side where the instructor sits. On most previous occasions driving around in town, whenever I need to break the instructor already applied the break and my attempt to break would be in vain. I did not like his actions and I made it clear to him as such. Anyways that summer day, we completed our driving around and we were about to park the car. On the parking spot we were about to use, people were sitting - most of them friends of the instructor probably in the same business as the driving lesson teachers. When we approached the parking spot, I started slowing down but not applied the break to a stop. Of course, the instructor applied the break and angrily looked at me. Even though I do not remember how I felt at that time, my response was like - so what you always applied the break with out waiting for me and what is different today?

After a while, thinking back on this incident, I felt awful. I could have run over those people and maimed them or even worse. I asked my self, why did not I apply the break on my own instead of waiting for the teacher? I was in charge - but, not acting as such. On the good side of it, I had taken the lesson to heart. That lesson changed me for good. What I have learned then made me independent - probably too independent.

Now after two decades, I have young kids and assumed a leadership position at work. At work, I am responsible for a team of engineers engaged in software development. The lesson I took to heart in 1990 came to question again. Is it really always good to take charge? Taking charge or being responsible is good and there is no argument here - let's see the flip side of it.

When you are in a leadership position, how do you grow team members you are supposed to lead? Do you think making all the decision by yourself is the right way? When you have kids of your own, how do you allow them to experiment with the world? Do you allow them to figure out things on their own? The 'crime' the driving lesson instructor committed in the above story was to not give me a chance to make decisions on my own. As a leader, you should allow your teams to take charge on their work making most of the decisions. Your task is to help them or facilitating the environment for them to make good decisions. First hand experience in making decisions is the best way to learn.

So, there are times to take charge and know when to back-off from overly being in charge to allow others to grow. This is the leadership challenge - to balance your actions. Encourage your team members to make their own decisions as much as possible - reward them for making an appropriate decision (at least provide a simple Thank You note) or provide a constructive feedback on the decision that did not go well.

Happy Leading!

P.S. Currently, I am reading a book titled

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman.